Time for some real talk. In our society, mothers, by and large, are extended the parental grace card (and rightly so). They aren’t flawless, because no human being is. However, the office in which mothers hold (long after a biological, adoptive, or foster-care child leaves the home) typically comes with an ample supply of relational equity or biochemical goodwill. The cuddling. The cooking. The cheerleading. Absent fathers as well as distracted dads on the other hand, provoke and stoke the fans of flames in children who feel perpetually short-changed due to the debit side of the paternal ledger account. Too many withdrawals and not enough credits are to blame. This often leads short-changed children to deal with their pain in lockstep along a rather predictable and identifiable behavioral spectrum, which the following examples highlight. Paternally wounded kids are more apt to throw in the towel on life or in school through self-sabotage, or just as problematic, go on a self-directed mission to make a name for themselves through a job (or jab, as in fighting), an asset (or assist, as in sports), or a hustle (or hassle, as in defiance). Still others focus on outward qualities to mask inward deficits, from social butterflies who party hard to reclusive gamers camping out in a bedroom or basement. Wardrobe accessories, hairstyles, hair coloring, tattoos, and elaborate piercings are often part of their “check-me-out,” deflection arsenal. Even more, evidence-based research confirms a large percentage of these kids will turn to artificial substances to bury or cover up paternal abandonment through a drug, a drink, or a drift. Rejected kids, even in well-to-do communities, feel like orphans. Yes, much of the blame can be placed at the feet of absent fathers and distracted dads.